


Dance of the Immortals II: Second Round

by MisstressFanGirl



Category: Underworld
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2005-01-16
Updated: 2005-01-20
Packaged: 2013-08-23 01:12:23
Rating: T
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,377
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2223012/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/466165/MisstressFanGirl
Summary: Our favorite immortals are back- and I have a little help from a good friend. But will everything go wrong after Michael's kidnapped... again?





	1. Default Chapter

Author's Note: I don't own any anime movie or game! Hehe, I guess a longer sequel would be okay, right? I mean, its not like anybody really got killed…. Any way, I've decided to turn this into a trilogy! So keep watch for the third one, now read!!

**Part One: The Hostaging **

The girl turned to the camera, which was held by her very good friend/ ex-boyfriend, who she still fondly revered to as either Neko-neko or Chocobo. But who was she? She simply called herself Ran-ran, a name she had worn like a badge of honor after earning it in a short-lived kendo dojo of her pre-teen years. She was named after an anime character, who was also small, violent, and cute. Ran-ran, with shoulder-length brown hair that was pulled into a pony tail, with bangs of equal length framing her face, was of small build. Her skin was lightly tanned, and her brown eyes looked over her glasses, which she wore when not writing or in front of a computer. Angrily she held back her bangs as the wind blew them into her mouth.

"Ya know," Neko-neko began, "If your bangs are bothering you, why don't you just put them up with the rest of the pony tail?"

Neko-neko was more than a head taller than Ran-ran's 4' 11'', and his hair was a shiny, black, just past his ear, with bleach white bangs that hung around his eyes. As a football player, he was of large build, broad shoulders, and lots of muscle. He wore half-frame glasses over gray eyes. Of course, he was about as 'weird' as they come, but still nice, at least if he wasn't fucking with your head.

"Because! I'm not doin' anything like writing, and I wanna look cute!" Ran-ran said, shifting her glasses and looked around at the empty subway station.

"Okay, you know where the vampire place is?" Ran-ran asked, taking out her own camera and turning it on, making sure it had plenty of battery power.

Neko-neko held up a finger, his mouth open as he looked as if he was going to answer.

"Second star to the left and straight on till morning?" He joked, really meaning that he did know where he was to go.

"Good, watch out for the mean vampire lady, she'll shoot at you. And just remember, they all fear the middle-east and anything dealing with anthrax, so bye bye!" With that said, Ran-ran in the direction she used the last time she was in the city to find the lycan's lair.

"M'kay, bye!" Neko-neko turned and casually walked out of the station, looking around and asked himself,

"Now… Where was the vamp-house?"

After about three hours of searching, and attempting to use the Map-quest map, Neko-neko finally found the vampire's coven house. Looking at the obstacle of the gate and fence, wondered if he should blow it up, scale it, or poke it with the spork in his pocket till it collapsed.

Seeing as the spork idea didn't work, Neko-neko grabbed the iron bars and began to heave up the fence.

As he carefully jumped over the other side, quickly stood up and did several poses as if looking for some one, which would have gone perfectly with the Mission Impossible theme. Since nothing tried to attack him, he stood up and began walking towards the big gothicy-looking house.

Inside the house, completely unaware of the current infiltration, Viktor was currently ranting his head off, in Selene's room, where she and Marcos- who was nearly asleep from boredom- sat as the suppose-to-be-dead vampire paced back and forth.

"And once again Selene, its more impolite to KILL your elder than it is to simply DISOBEY them!!!"

Before the elder vampire could continue, the window opened, Neko-neko tumbled in, screaming,

"WAAAIT!!"

At this time all the immortals turned to look at the teenager. For several seconds, nobody moved or said anything. Until, of course, Neko-neko sprinted forward and pounced upon Viktor and screamed,

"_HELLO SUNSHINE!!! _Pretty pretty kitty, whose da pwetty kitty? WHOSH DA PWETTY KITTY?!"

As soon as Viktor got over the shock of having someone on top of him and screaming their heads off, he threw Neko-neko across the room and stood up. Angrily, he turned to Selene and Marcos, and yelled,

"Why the Hell didn't you help me?!"

Marcos sighed like a bored teenager and rolled his eyes,

"Well its not like you really _asked_ us too."

While the two elders bickered, Selene ran over to the thrown Neko-neko and said, as she trained a gun to his head,

"Who, exactly, are you, and why are you here?"

"Uhhhh," Neko-neko stood, rubbing his injured shoulder, and ignoring the fact that the vampire had a gun in her hand, with the safety set to _off_, "I am here to collect taxes on your foot!"

"What? Be serious!"

Neko-neko giggled and continued.

"Seriously? Okay, in all seriousness, Ran-ran wants Viktor and Lucian to make up… Or something like that, I dunno, maybe she wants to see em' do naughty naughty things to each other, mmyess."

By this time Neko-neko's pinkie was set at the corner of his mouth, in a mock of Dr. Evil from the Austin Powers movie series.

Selene's gun had lowered just slightly, as her subconscious not finding him to be a threat. But before she could question the teenager's statement, Viktor had yelled,

"WHAT?! Lucian is dead! You idiot, and who is this 'Ran-ran' you speak of?!"

Neko-neko put his hand down to dangle at his sides and said,

"A friend. She did some spying on Selene and Michael and I think tapped you and Lucian dancing… Or, you know, something like that."

By the way Viktor was shaking, Neko-neko guessed that he was about to either be killed, or lectured at for a while.

Down in the subway, sewer type thing of the mostly Lycan's lair, Ran-ran walked down the same hallway she had fallen down. The giant gapping hole in the center of the corridor was still there, and from the room it led into, words floated up to be heard.

"Can you let me go now? This is kinda stupid."

"Oh shut up Michael."

Ran-ran recognized the voices as Lucian's and Michael's.

"Well you do know that I can probably break out of them anyway, right?"

"Shut up, you're ruining my mood."

"What mood?! You're playing Tetris! And loosing no less!"

"Well I would be winning if you were to SHUT UP!!"

Before either of them could say anymore, the floor beneath Ran-ran cracked and shifted, her screaming was quickly cut off as she fell, colliding with the ruble.

"Ooooh…. That huuuuuurt." She said as she forced herself up.

Both Lucian, who was sitting at a lab table and playing on a laptop computer, and Michael, who was tied up and hanging up-side-down from the ceiling, were looking at her.

"Hey, aren't you that girl that was spying on me and Selene a few weeks ago?" Michael asked, breaking the silence.

"Uh, yeah, hi!" Ran-ran waved.

"And who was also here making an attempt at spying on me, only succeeding in falling through the roof, like you just got done doing again?" Lucian himself asked, closing the laptop and folding his hands.

"Yep, that was me!" Ran-ran nodded and smiled.

"Ah. Well, why are you here _again?"_

"Uuuuh, nothing much." Ran-ran held up her camera and flipped open the screen, "Mind if I get an interview? That's what I was here for the last time till Viktor busted in and went all 'rawr'."

Lucian though the whole thing was absurd, but then again, it was getting boring simply playing Tetris and listening to Michael's whines. Plus, its not like he really had anything _better_ to do for the moment.

"Fine."

Sitting down at the opposite side of the table, Ran-ran pointed the now recording camera at the ancient lycan leader.

"Okay, well, I'm Ran-ran-"

"'Ran-ran'? That's what your name is?" Lucian questioned, interrupting the teenager.

"Uh, well actually its more like my general nick-name."

"Ah. Yes, well, continue."

"M'kay, so your name is being Lucian, riiight?"

"Yes… How'd you know?"

"You'd be surprised by the stuff you find on the Internet. Perticuarlly on randomly placed werewolf fetish sights." Ran-ran said, smiling, "Anyway, skipping over the boring questions, do you like pepperoni or sausage on your pizza?"

After a moment of thinking, and decided not to comment on the mention of 'fetish', Lucian answered,

"Actually, I prefer Canadian bacon to either of them."

"M'kay, if you were a character in the Wizard of Oz, which one would you be?"

"I- uh… what do these questions have to do with anything?"

"Nothing, I just lost the paper that had all the questions I was going to ask you."

"Oh, so you can't remember any of them?"

Ran-ran laughed nervously and scratched her head,

"Well, I would have, but I kinda wrote all of the questions down when I was kinda… Tipsy."

With a quirked eyebrow, Lucian said,

"Well, could you at least make your questions make more sense."

"Hey, the pizza one makes sense, especially seeing as I sorta skipped lunch. Now…. Uh… Hm… Why exactly were you and the vampires at war, anyway?"

Lucian sighed, and prepared to tell the whole painfully true story.

"Can ya untie me now?!" Neko-neko exclaimed, slightly annoyed. After Viktor had resolved to tie up the teenager, assumablely so that he could be tortured into telling them useful information.

"Now," Selene began, after knocking out Viktor, "Where's Michael?! Did your 'Ran-ran' take him?!"

"Uhh… No. 'Least I don't think she did." Neko-neko stated, annoyed.

At this time, the cell phone on the desk decided to ring, and in a swift motion, Selene answered it with an impatient,

"What?!"

"_Hi Selene!"_ Came the answer over the phone.

"Michael?! Where are you?!"

"_Uh, well, Lucian kinda kidnapped me… again."_

"Put him on!"

There was a moment of silence before Lucian's voice came on.

"_Yes?"_

"LUCIAN!! You bring Michael back here right _now_!!"

"_Oh, I'm sorry! But I decided not to negotiate with scary vampire ladies!" _Lucian's voice mocked sincerity.

"Is Ran-ran there?"

"_Yes, why?"_

"Tell her that if she ever wants to see her little boyfriend again, then I'll have to get MICHAEL back first!!"

After a short pause on the phone, Ran-ran's voice answered,

"_HEY!!! He is NOT me boyfriend!! We broke up quite a while ago!!"_

_Click!_

Throwing down the phone, Selene turned to Neko-neko as he asked,

"Sooo, Imma hostage now?"

Author's Note: Well, the first chapter of this small little one is done. Gimme a few days or so and check back for the next chapter!


	2. Pizza and Beer, They Fix All

**Part Two: Ode to Pizza, it Fixes All**

"Wow… Dude… That sucks." Ran-ran said, nodding sympathetically as Lucian finished telling her of his personal reasons for continuing in the Lycan-Vampire war.

"Dude, I seriously think that you need therapy." Stated the little author girl.

"What?" Lucian looked up from his game, "No! I require no such thing!"

"Okay, fine."

Ran-ran took out a pad of paper and a pen and asked,

"Tell me then, have you dated, at all, since Sonja's death?"

There was a pause, as Lucian looked at Ran-ran, no emotional answer apparent on his face.

"No." He finally said, "And I don't plan to."

"Okay." Ran-ran jotted a few things down and then resumed asking questions.

"Have you ever considered suicide, starved yourself, or went into a mad depression?"

Raising an eyebrow, Lucian considered not answering any more questions and just killing Ran-ran. And why shouldn't he? Oh, she was talking again.

"-And then you know what he does? He gets my best friend to call and break up with me _for him!_ He didn't even have the fucking nerve to break up with me himself, the fucking PUSSY!!" Ran-ran cursed openly as she paced back and forth in her heated rant.

"My, someone has a mouth like a sailor." Lucian commented, referring to the profanities used. "And if you ask me, it is _you_ that needs therapy, not me."

"Do not!… Well, maybe just a little would be good…. Who wants pizza?!"

As Lucian was talked into pizza, Neko-neko was busy being escorted to a car, so that Selene could go save Michael.

"_Oooh, I'M WALKIN ON SUUUUNSHIIIINE!!!!" _Neko-neko screamed as Selene covered her ears, resisting with all her might the urge to kill the annoying teenager as he sat upon the counter.

"Please, for the love of all things good and right SHUT UP!!!" Selene finally yelled, slamming her hands down against the wall, and Neko-neko fell silent.

"Sooo…." Neko-neko started slowly, but before he had a chance to continue, Marcus stopped them.

"Selene! And… Um, what was your name again?" The elder questioned Neko-neko.

"Call me…. Mr…. YAMAGUCHIMUKOYEERIMAKSAKIKUMO!!!"

This random outburst earned an odd look from Marcus and Selene.

"Or, ya know, you could always just call me Neko-neko."

Neko-neko smiled and tilted his head, hoping he wasn't going to get his head bit off. Like he wasn't going to have enough trouble getting out of that place, with it's crazy, Muslim-fearing…. Hey… That was it!

Quickly, and discreetly, as Selene and Marcus were talking about unimportant matter, Neko-neko drew out a lock pick, and quickly went to work on unlocking the handcuffs that bound his wrists.

click

They were open.

While the two were distracted, Neko-neko reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of-

"I've got ANTHRAX!!" Neko-neko yelled as he held up his handful of white powder, and the two immortals were looking fearfully at the teenager's hand. While they were distracted, Neko-neko grabbed Marcus, and held him, spinning around so that he was walking back to the exit.

"Oh my god, SELENE!!!! HELP!!!" Marcus yelled, hysterical, forgetting his own strength at the sight of the powder, which could be used as a serious weapon.

"Alright, Neko-neko, just calm down. You DON'T want to do this!" Selene tried to negotiate calmly. But in all honesty, she was just as afraid of the 'anthrax' as her elder.

Neko-neko shook his head, an insane look in his eye as he headed walked slowly down the stairs. Finally, he reached the door, and he yelled,

"Don't underestimate me, I wont _HESITATE _to _ANTHRAX_ his ass!!" He shook the handful of powder angrily. Forcing Marcus to open the door, Neko-neko and his hostage walked down the path, being followed cautiously by Selene. Finally, he got to a car, and shoved Marcus into the passenger seat.

"Gimme your cell phone!" Neko-neko demanded, and Selene threw it to him. Catching the cell, he looked at it then slipped it into his pocket.

Sitting in the driver's seat, Neko-neko looked over to Marcus, who was huddled at the other end of the front seat, as far as he could get from the insane youth. In fact, another disturbing yet funny-to-him plan was forming in his mind. After closing the door, and turning the ignition, Neko-neko turned to Marcus and said,

"Hey, Marcus."

Getting the elder's full attention, Neko-neko winked and blew him a kiss, making Marcus shrink back even further. Neko-neko laughed as he turned the radio to play rock, and upped the volume to a blaring level, even for human ears. With his foot as a brick, Neko-neko accelerated the car off the vampire's grounds, and sped back to the city, head banging and gunning the engine working to scare Marcus even more.

"You know what we should do?" Lucian began, sitting lazily in a boot with Ran-ran and Michael, all of them having filled up on pizza and beer.

"What?" Michael asked, picking up another slice of deep dish and munching on it.

"We should go to Tijuana, and have a real party. I hear that there's going to be a rave that's going to last for days on end."

"But what about Ran-ran? Wouldn't she like, not be allowed due to her affliction of being all… Minor…ish?"

In a minor drunken laugh, Lucian said,

"I don't think being a midget is an affliction!!"

At this Michael amazingly laughed too,

"Really? Woow! I never knew!!"

Ran-ran, who was preoccupied with swaying back and forth, spoke,

"Heeey…. You guys are drunk… gimme your car keys!"

"Did we even come here in a car?" Lucian asked, completely bewildered.

"What if we did… But then the Mole People ate it?" Michael asked, as if proposing the cure for cancer.

After a serious moment of silence, they all burst out laughing. Then a small ringing sound made Michael look down at his cell phone as if it was a foreign object.

"Hey guys." Michael began, staring at the ringing object, "I think Lassie's trying to tell us something."

Lucian, too, looked at the ringing cell phone blankly, before Ran-ran took it up, being the most sober one of the group and muttered,

"Fuckin drunks. Hello?"

"_Ran-ran! Where are you?"_

"Chocobo? Hey, we're at the- ahhh…. A pizza place."

"'We're'? _Who are you there with?"_

"Oh, uh. Well, me, Lucian, and Mike are here, eating pizza and getting drunk. Come join us!!" Ran-ran said happily, and gave her friend the directions to where she and her drunken immortal buddies were- damn the could sure drink a lot.

"Hey! Ran-ran!" Neko-neko greeted as he forced Marcus in with him.

"OH GOD!!!" The elder screeched, and clung to Michael's chest, whimpering and eyeing Neko-neko.

"Hweow kitty!" Michael said happily as he clumsily stroked Marcus' hair and giggled along with Lucian, who was seeing if he could walk in a straight line on the tiled floor.

"Uh, drunk?" Neko-neko asked, pointed to the lycan leader, who lay currently sprawled on the floor holding his sides as he laughed.

"Muchly. Same with Mikey. And I," Ran-ran said unsteadily, sliding out of the booth, finding standing and swaying very entertaining for a few moments before continuing, "Am tipsy off my happy chicken wing loving ass."

"Oookay, how about I chocobo you to the car?" Neko-neko offered, turning around and bending down slightly so that Ran-ran could hop on.

"Hmmm…. Okay!" Ran-ran smiled and clumsily clung to Neko-neko's back, her hands on his shoulders and legs wrapped around his mid-section.

As Neko-neko began trotting to the door, Lucian, who mistook the teen's leg for a chew toy (or something) and bit down into the calf muscle.

"AHHH! WHAT THE FUCK?!" Neko-neko screamed, kicking Lucian off his leg and running out of the pizza place.

"Hey, I know a place we can go!!" Ran-ran said happily as the two sat in the car, driving insanely fast down the street.

"Really?"

Not half an hour later, the two teenagers were standing in a warehouse, filled to the brim with explosives and ways to set them off in nice, big booms.

Author's Note: Yes, I know they're out of character, but what fun would it be if they WERE? Hehe, keep watch for the final chapter in the second one!!


	3. Tango, Baby!

**Part Three: Ka-Boom **

As Neko-neko stacked the dynamite in neat piles, Ran-ran glanced back and forth between the manual and wiring of a bomb. They both sat in the dark building of an office building, where below on the street, Michael, Lucian, and Marcus all swayed arm in arm drunkenly. After being convinced that the Tale Ban wasn't going to bomb the house, Selene left to save Michael and also driving Viktor, who wanted to kill Lucian.

"Hey Ran-ran." Neko-neko began through a walkie-talkie, as he walked from room to room, depositing a nice-sized bomb off in each of them, "Do you think it was a good idea to leave Mike and Lucian alone, drunk?"

"_Yeeaaah_!" Ran-ran's answer crackled through the walkie-talkie as she made more bombs in front of the elevator.

"Whatever."

While those two were busy dispatching bombs, Lucian and his two drunken buddies swayed as they sang. Eventually Marcus had been force-chugged beer, and then had calmed down enough to continue from tipsy, to plastered.

"I lovesh you guysh!" Marcus said happily, hanging between Lucian and Michael.

"Aww, I lovesesh you toooooo Mishter Kitty!" Michael said happily.

As the three were about to cross a desolate intersection, a black cut across, speeding past the drunks, and making them stop in their tracks. The car immediately stopped not to far, and backed up to stop right in front of the three drunken immortals.

The driver's door, which was facing them, opened up, and out stepped an angry looking Selene.

"Michael!!" She said, in a tone like a mother yelling at a troublesome offspring.

"Hello scary lady!!" Michael said, much to Selene's surprise and displeasure, as he stumbled over to slip an arm around her shoulder and hang on her.

"You're drunk, aren't you?!"

"Weeelll duh! Wait…. Noo! You… You're wrong! I… Imma go sleepy." With that said, Michael promptly passed out into Selene's arms.

Out of the other side of the car, Viktor's head appeared, and he said hatefully,

"Lucian."

"Heeey Vicky!" Lucian said, he and Marcus giggling happily.

"Marcus! Are you drunk?!" Viktor demanded to know, confused as to why his fellow elder was conjugating with what he still saw as the enemy.

"No.." Marcus talked slowly, carefully articulating every word, so not to sound drunk, "But you are! So, yeah, gimme your car keys!"

Viktor growled angrily as the two drunken immortals laughed. And soon they were stumbling around the car to sway in front of him, doing a poor imitation of a can-can dance.

"Viktor! I love you man!" Lucian suddenly said and wrapped his arms around the vampire's neck, giggling and leaving Marcus to have only the near-by car as a support.

"Lucian get OFF of me!!" Viktor exclaimed as he shoved Lucian off him, causing the lycan to stumble and then fall, laughing the whole way.

"Hey guys!" Ran-ran said, all alcohol out of her system as Neko-neko and she walked towards the motley-looking group from the office building they were just in.

"YOU!!!" Viktor yelled, advancing hostility on the now stopped Ran-ran.

"Eh, me?" Ran-ran said, pointing to herself.

"Yes, you are the whole reason why ANY of this madness happed in the first place!"

"Really? Uh, cool." Ran-ran was starting to get just a tad nervous, Viktor's eyes were turning blue and he was making an odd hissing sound.

That is, until he suddenly stopped, Lucian clinging to both his legs and humping them madly, giggling in a drunken way.

"LUCIAN!! GET OFF OF MEEE!!!!" Viktor yelled, shaking his leg until the lycan finally tumbled off, rolling and laughing.

Suddenly Lucian stopped and stood, looking at Viktor, all traces of intoxication gone. For a moment the two simply starred at each other, and everything was quite, even Marcus paused in a slight paranoia.

Then, music, slowly began. It sounded like maracas, and an acoustic guitar, from south of the border. Before anyone knew what was happening, Lucian and Viktor were in the process of an intimate dance- The Tango!

Neko-neko looked confused at the two, dipping each other, and then at Ran-ran, who was sitting behind a boom box, where the music was being produced.

"Uh… What the hell?" Neko-neko said, sitting beside his friend.

"Eh, don't ask." Ran-ran said, giggling as she caught the entire dance on her video camera.

"What in the hell are you two doing?!" Selene exclaimed as she made her way over to the two teenagers.

"Uh, sitting." Neko-neko stated.

"Yep, fireworks are about to go off, we should really find cover." Ran-ran stated as she looked down at her watch.

"Fireworks? What fireworks?" Selene looked at Ran-ran, then at Neko-neko.

"Can't tell ya!" Neko-neko said, pulling out two black umbrellas, handed one to Ran-ran, then opened his over his head.

"Hope your head is strong." Neko-neko said, shrugging.

Selene looked suspiciously at the building towering over them. What had they done? Her question was answered as there was a sudden bright flash of light, and then the loud explosion as a good number of the windows were blown out, glass raining out on the occupants of the street.

Of course, since the explosion didn't overpower the sound of the music, Viktor and Lucian continued dancing.

"So," Selene started, curious and turning to Neko-neko, "Was that really anthrax that you were holding Marcus hostage with?"

"Huh? Oh, nah. It was just flour." Neko-neko grinned, and laughed.

Selene took in this new information and glared at the teenager, considering killing him, but deciding it best if she didn't. After all, she had a drunken Michael in the back seat of a very expansive car, and she didn't want it to be spoiled by getting vomited on

Author's Note: Short? I know. Crappy ending? They all can't be gems. But that is the end of the sequel, and you can be your ass that there's gonna be a third one! Yay, lets make it a trilogy !


End file.
